2/27 More symptoms

I am by far having the most negative symptoms of anyone--feeling moody, abandoned, unable to communicate--old feelings associated with my depression (which I now suspect had a lot to do with mercury toxicity and poor nutrition). I think it's because I was way overdoing it on the NCD. I feel a little weird using a "product," and I think that pascalite and megadoses of magnesium, selenium, and zinc might be doing more than the NDC, but I'm not ready to write it off yet. However, Nico is onto me in the way I try to hide things in her food (though they didn't notice the freeze-dried brain and liver in tonight's "delicious, mama!" hamburgers). So she ends up rejecting something with a couple drops of NCD, and I forget and eat or drink it myself. Plus, as is my wont, I moved us up way too fast on the dosage. And yesterday I tried Emergen'C for kids, and it was too much for Lena (who will more or less take anything I give her--my sweet girl--though I also credit Richard Scarry, who compliments Huckle on eating what his mama gives him). She was pretty zoned out through the story hour; she also very disturbed by this boy who was crying (and his mama just kept reprimanding him and telling him to stop or they'd leave).

So, symptoms:

• I am a moody bitch.
• The girls are interested in other kids! At the library yesterday, they both went up to a 10 month old boy, touched him gently, and crawled around like he did.
• Nico danced at the library meeting yesterday. She shook her sillies out. This is amazing. I once had to leave a music group because )I now theorize/understand), it was too loud for her.
• Lena pooped on the potty all bu herself, perfectly, two days ago, and Nico did yesterday (plus halfway today). They both got up the morning, non-fussy, and we went pee on the potty with no resistance. Nay, gladly. Gladly I say!
• Nico was too excited to take a nap today. She chattered in a high-pitched voice for over an hour. Finally chamomile or sulphur or belladonna seemed to help (I was desperate). Lena slept solid for 2.5 hours but woke in a horrible mood. I wonder if she got some gluten/casein at the meeting today.
• The meeting was fabulous! The girls were awesome! People stayed three and a half hours (an hour and a half after I started hinting they should leave;)). Nico played with a little boy who was almost four. Nico. Played. With. Another. Child. It was so awesome. She was so cheery. Lena was giving out balloons and having a good time too.
• There is still a lot of arm flapping (though Nico was doing it with just one arm for a while tonight). I really wonder what causes that. Lena seems to be drawing up her hand a little less. I think it used to be both, but now it seems only to be the right.
  
• The girls ran around screaming, "Naked! Naked time!" (though only Lena was naked) for about half an hour before bed. It was awesome. Nico was giving me so many hugs and kisses. I've really been waiting for this!
• They haven't been eating much for breakfast (though Lena had an entire banana, a few bites of eggs, and a few bites of breakfast ice cream, so I guess that's a lot), but they have been awesome at dinner, with the exception of three nights ago when Lena was too excited to sit down at all. Nico keeps commenting, "Delicious! Thank you, Mama!"
  

I took a clay bath tonight. Maybe that, combined with the lessening of my NCD dose will help me out!

I need to write more about how I understand their symptoms, as the mercury is stirred up up me and I experience what I believe they've been experiencing off and on since birth.

Oh, and we finally had a snow! Download and upload.... To do, to do, to do....

2/23 Today's Symptoms

I'm going to try to type up an overview of the last week, but here's what went on today:

Last night I remembered to give Magnesium. Not only did I fall asleep in "Daddy's bed" (which I've only done once before), the girls slept until 1 am without me. Previous record is about 11 pm.

We slept in a little, until 6:45 or so. No real meltdowns before breakfast (although Chris did catch Nico peeing on the doll Grandma gave her yesterday--yesterday she was throwing it down on the floor and smiling and sitting on it). But overall, it was a big, big improvement. Then the girls played together (without biting or much fussing) for hours. It was crazy. I got so many little things done, and they we having fun and chatting away. Awesome awesome awesome.

They didn't eat much food and wanted lots of milk. Not sure how much NDC they got as the newness of being allowed juice again seems to have worn off. Circles under eyes were moderate. Arm flapping is at a worrisome level, but not as bad as I've seen it in the past. Nico did a little head banging..well, more throwing her whole bodt back in her little soft paisley chair from Nini.

Libby wrote back the sweetest letter. She suggested Mercola's site, as well as The Impossible Cure. She also suggested a WAPF homeopath/ND in Concord, NH, so I'm going to call tomorrow.

Our faces were not as flushed. Nico seems to be taking it harder today. She had a few breakdowns, especially after leaving the Children's Museum (which was so crowded and loud; I'm surprised we were there as long as we were--they really had a blast). She also really didn't want a bath, claiming like she did last week that it was "too hot." We did coax her in (filtered bath with epsom salts), and she had fun, but it reminded me how much both girls HATED baths until they were about 8 months old. I just never gave them one. The "too hot" comment also makes me remember how they used to always kick off blankets. Nico did that this afternoon. The mercury is high, huh. I hope I'm doing the right thing. Gotta get some pascalite into her I think.

They went to sleep easily at about 7:45, and it's almost 10:30 without a peep. I love you, magnesium. And I love you so so so much, my little Nico and my little Lena (who looks like she's gained a pound or two--she's not a rail anymore).

Also, their eyelashes are growing. Grandpa J. keeps noticing. Nico gave him an unbidden kiss yesterday for the very first time. That was amazing. Such progress amidst such symptoms.

Back to report on Mercury Rising

Honestly, I mostly stopped blogging because I was seeing autism spectrum symptoms in the girls, and I felt scared and too ashamed to blog about it. I'll write more about the ridiculous shame later (which I feel may be stopping us from getting to a cure), but I'm blogging again to document our progress, mixed as it currently is, while I get the amalgams out of my body and we work on processing the mercury out of our systems. Wish us luck.

To start I will copy a letter I just wrote to one of my stepmom's old friends, Libby DeMartelly. I found her online here, so I think it's okay that I publish her name. (I'll delete it if it's problem.) Anyway, here's a brief summary of my understanding of where we are:

Hi Libby!

My name is Mehera Dennison, and my stepmom, Anita Middleton, suggested I try to get in contact with you. I think she took some homeopathic classes with you, and remembers that you gave her the book the Aware Baby (which I haven't read, but I know my 26 month old twin have been paying attention since the moment they popped out!).

I've been using homeopathic meds with them since they were about 12 months. Before that, unfortunately, they were vaccinated and on antibiotics once. I also had three amalgam fillings placed with breastfeeding (which I am still doing--they will not give up the boob and I don't want them too!). In retrospect, I can see that their symptoms (which I identify as on the autistic spectrum, tho I know no western doctor would dare diagnose them since they are still young and very high functioning and i've learned how to avoid triggering situations and foods) worsening after every mercury exposure. I am, however, currently getting my amalgams removed. We are doing all right, but I think some of the mercury related remedies might really help us. I've ordered some (we each have a different type as far as I can tell), but they haven't arrived and I'd love to consult someone else about them. Mercurius jolted one twin out of some behavior but seemed to worsen it the next times I tried it, so I won't use it again. I could gone on (obviously!), but I don't know if you are still involved in homeopathy and/or have any time to talk or email with me.

Spectrum behaviors include arm-flapping, saying "uh" instead of using words (tho they have quite a sophisticated vocabulary, in my opinion:), when they use it--which is most of the time), biting people and hurting dolls and dogs, head banging, and spinning. They also have unformed stools and lot of undigested foods--we follow a Weston Price diet with only honey and occasional maple syrup as sweeteners, and we have no grains or dairy currently--these, as well, as fish, aggravate their symptoms. Each of these could be explained away, but I have no doubt that if we weren't strict with their diets (and I eat what they eat), they would have full-blown symptoms.

I guess I did go on, but I will stop myself now. If you aren't involved in this type of healing, perhaps you know someone who is. I found your email address online and see you are in NH. I am currently in MA and visit my sister in law in Concord NH every couple months or so.

Thanks for your time. Anita remembers you quite fondly and calls you a brilliant woman and mother.

Sincerely,