Symptoms 3/11

Last Thursday I had the last of my amalgams removed. There's still an old crown which my old dentist says has no amalgam, but we're not sure. We need to wait until we're a little bit flush to remove it though, I guess. I wish I knew for sure--but on the other hand, I tell myself that if there is something in there, maybe it's stopping me from dumping too much mercury at once. Who knows. (This time I remembered to take arnica just after the removal. I was much sorer the day of, but almost pain-free the day after. Rock on, arnica!)

I started with the NCD again the afternoon after the removal, back to one drop...and so far I haven't upped it ahead of schedule like I did last time. I think it makes a difference in all of our moods, and the circles under our eyes aren't as dark. So score one for me learning to follow directions and not trying to "overachieve" when there's absolutely nothing to be gained by going faster.

The morning after the removal, Lena and I almost fell apart before breakfast. I realized that I was extremely anxious and hypoglycemic (which had virtually disappeared when I was eating NT and GFCF) and I couldn't be very responsive to Lena, who just needed to be held. She also needed to eat, it turns out, and after we both got some food, we talked about it and she agreed that she had been unable to think or talk, and I think she understood it was from lack of food. However, she still isn't eating much, and she has been spacing out a lot, and I can't stop worrying about her. (Should I try Crab Apple?)

This was not the time to begin potty learning. We had a stomach bug all last week (some homeopathic spray stuff seemed to stop it), so I went back to diapers. But once the diarrhea was gone, the girls decided to poop all over the floor. I took this as a sign that they were ready for underwear again, but...agh. I'm just not ready for this right now. Sorry, girls. EC next time.

So, to sum up--not as moody or dark-circled as last time. More worried about Lena. Very brief suicidal thoughts (none today). But a general heaviness, a dark mood, a need for a gentle (homeopathic) chelation plan...and Anita's supposed to email me the name of an MD/homeopath in Boston who specializing in cleaning up after vaccinations.

Wait, more:

• I'm forgetting words, like "barbell."
• The girls don't cry as much when they wake in the middle of the night, and except for last night, they don't wake as often. Yesterday they didn't take a nap for the first time in several weeks.
• Waking from naps is still not much fun, but it's not as bad as it was last time I had amalgams removed. The girls generally nurse as they're waking up, but maybe it's still low blood sugar. Wish I had more quick snacks and things that would entice them out of bed.
• The girls are more lovey-dovey. They tell each other they love each other(!), and they randomly say they love Bea or Circe or Daddy or me. Is this developmental? It seems late, somehow, but it's awfully good to see.
• I feel a generalized anxiety, a rush to do everything, even dishes. Nico often tells me to slow down. Nico's been getting more boo-boos; I think she's rushing too.
• Today the girls helped me so much--we cleaned up almost all the blood on the walls after Bea's unfortunate tail amputation last week. And Lena was holding boards for Daddy in the kitchen--really helping.
  

A couple random thoughts:

• My unexplained headaches during pregnancy--was this when the mercury left my brain and settled into the girls? And what did having an MRI do--to all of us?
• The amalgam that was replaced with porcelain, NOT using any safety protocol, at around Day 20 of my pregnancy before I could even take a test. Did that do anything?
• Lena's band-aid shaped "birthmark," from receiving the Hep B vaccine at 2 days old (and 5 weeks early)--seriously, what caused that? Nico's faded after a few months....