2/27 More symptoms

I am by far having the most negative symptoms of anyone--feeling moody, abandoned, unable to communicate--old feelings associated with my depression (which I now suspect had a lot to do with mercury toxicity and poor nutrition). I think it's because I was way overdoing it on the NCD. I feel a little weird using a "product," and I think that pascalite and megadoses of magnesium, selenium, and zinc might be doing more than the NDC, but I'm not ready to write it off yet. However, Nico is onto me in the way I try to hide things in her food (though they didn't notice the freeze-dried brain and liver in tonight's "delicious, mama!" hamburgers). So she ends up rejecting something with a couple drops of NCD, and I forget and eat or drink it myself. Plus, as is my wont, I moved us up way too fast on the dosage. And yesterday I tried Emergen'C for kids, and it was too much for Lena (who will more or less take anything I give her--my sweet girl--though I also credit Richard Scarry, who compliments Huckle on eating what his mama gives him). She was pretty zoned out through the story hour; she also very disturbed by this boy who was crying (and his mama just kept reprimanding him and telling him to stop or they'd leave).

So, symptoms:

• I am a moody bitch.
• The girls are interested in other kids! At the library yesterday, they both went up to a 10 month old boy, touched him gently, and crawled around like he did.
• Nico danced at the library meeting yesterday. She shook her sillies out. This is amazing. I once had to leave a music group because )I now theorize/understand), it was too loud for her.
• Lena pooped on the potty all bu herself, perfectly, two days ago, and Nico did yesterday (plus halfway today). They both got up the morning, non-fussy, and we went pee on the potty with no resistance. Nay, gladly. Gladly I say!
• Nico was too excited to take a nap today. She chattered in a high-pitched voice for over an hour. Finally chamomile or sulphur or belladonna seemed to help (I was desperate). Lena slept solid for 2.5 hours but woke in a horrible mood. I wonder if she got some gluten/casein at the meeting today.
• The meeting was fabulous! The girls were awesome! People stayed three and a half hours (an hour and a half after I started hinting they should leave;)). Nico played with a little boy who was almost four. Nico. Played. With. Another. Child. It was so awesome. She was so cheery. Lena was giving out balloons and having a good time too.
• There is still a lot of arm flapping (though Nico was doing it with just one arm for a while tonight). I really wonder what causes that. Lena seems to be drawing up her hand a little less. I think it used to be both, but now it seems only to be the right.
  
• The girls ran around screaming, "Naked! Naked time!" (though only Lena was naked) for about half an hour before bed. It was awesome. Nico was giving me so many hugs and kisses. I've really been waiting for this!
• They haven't been eating much for breakfast (though Lena had an entire banana, a few bites of eggs, and a few bites of breakfast ice cream, so I guess that's a lot), but they have been awesome at dinner, with the exception of three nights ago when Lena was too excited to sit down at all. Nico keeps commenting, "Delicious! Thank you, Mama!"
  

I took a clay bath tonight. Maybe that, combined with the lessening of my NCD dose will help me out!

I need to write more about how I understand their symptoms, as the mercury is stirred up up me and I experience what I believe they've been experiencing off and on since birth.

Oh, and we finally had a snow! Download and upload.... To do, to do, to do....