Repeating: Not prepared

I feel so bad. Lena flipped out at the mall today and I don't know why. She started off needing to push the stroller (very funny, because she can't see where she's going but she's so determined). Then she wanted to be held while pushing the stroller (and got very mad whenever she noticed I was helping steer the stroller). She would break down in frustration if we stopped moving (needless to say, I abandoned the idea of actually shopping pretty early on). Then she just lost it. I'd just nursed her in Mimi Maternity; she didn't want fruit leather or water or just to be held. I got down on the floor with her to ask her what was the matter, but tears just kept streaming from her bright blue eyes. It was so sad. We still had to get downstairs and out of the mall. She SCREAMED all the way through Lord & Taylor. I try not to be judgemental of other moms (umless I hear them say bad things or just ignore a kid who truly needs something), but I can imagine people were judging me. I could see it. I was holding her with a bemused smile on my face as we left the mall, people wondering what I'd done to make her scream. My poor sweetie.

OK, it is several days later. Well, two days later, but it feels like several. No more meltdowns, but I've kept our outings quick. We had a playdate with a mom off matchingmoms.org, mom to two cute 9 month old twins. It was nice, but Lena was worried about their dog, which I didn't expect. Even when the dog was outside. So she didn't quite relax, but Nico has a ball. I can never predict what these girls will do! Yesterday we started Kindermusik; it was ok. Tomorrow Chris is going to Atlanta, and it looks like I'll be on my lonesome.

New girly stuff:

• My lap is the most coveted seat in the house. It's pretty cool, but they can't always both fit. Nico sometimes backs in and misses--very cute!
• They love to bring me books! They are really paying attention. I think I will have some early readers. Woohoo!
• They are drinking smoothies for breakfast (and lunch today) with homemade yogurt, a banana, a bit of rapadura, and cod liver oil. This morning I added a pear, and this afternoon I added some special butter made from cows grazing on new green grass. I tasted it--delicious!
  
• They sign more all the time. More book, more music, more fruit leather....
• They are adorable! They are just adorable. I think they are becoming little girls. I love you guys so much!