taking the t all by ourselves....

well, my jogging stroller won't fit into the library, but my car stroller (a graciously donated double maclaren) will fit onto the red line--woohoo! we've been taking the girls on the t via baby bjorn for a few months now, but an outing tends to push the limits of their "awake time." until about a month and a half ago, they would only stay up past two or two and a half hours if something truly riveting was going on, but they'll regularly up closer to four hours after their first nap lately. four hours without too much fussing can be quite a heady experience; when they don't last that long, it's a surprise and pretty disappointing--i get used to the little bits of freedom fast. anyway, i've hesitated to take them anywhere on the t because the prep time (at least a half hour from when they wake til we get out the door) plus travel to and from and the train (at least 45 minutes each way) doesn't leave much time to actually accomplish anything. with two adults, if one baby has a meltdown, she can be fairly easily comforted with one parent "free" for when the fussies strike baby b. but subtract a pair of arms and add the distance of a stroller...well, i just wasn't ready.

but yesterday was day five of non-fun weather. there was no rain, though, and i was feeling...well, honestly, i was a little pissed at my husband (i forget why now), so i decided to transform that anger into an expedition to see him, figuring if it was a disaster, i could blame him. (yes, even as i was doing it, i knew it made no sense.) but it worked! the girls stayed in their stroller the whole ride there. (another mom talked my ear off, and i seriously think the girls respect when i'm having a conversation, especially with another mom. maybe "enjoy" is a better word than "respect." or maybe they feel "relieved" that i'm finally talking to someone else.) we were a little early (i'm always early with these two!), but they stayed calm. lunch was good, although they preferred our laps to the high chairs. and the ride home was manageable. they got fussy, so i took them out of the stroller. lena wanted to nurse, and i feel i was pretty discreet, nursing her and holding nico on the other knee. their jackets helped block an excess of boob from showing to the guy across from us. we made it home with no meltdowns. those kinds of successes just make me so proud of myself, like i really am a mother. like i'm "mommy."

i wonder when i will stop being so impressed with myself at certain "firsts." i thought i was a godthe first time i got them into the stroller alone. another big one was was going to the grocery store alone with both at exactly 6 months. and i booked that massage, so tomorrow will be the first time i leave them for purely sefish reasons. rock on, mama.